It Wuz a Beautiful Day
by Perilous Mango Ninja
Summary: Hey, what can I say? It wuz a beautiful day. Designed to infuriate the grammatically correct and make fun of the grammatically incorrect. So enter and flame, but please leave your sanity beehind. I meen behind.


**Author's Note:** This story is dedicated to all you dumbasses out there who haven't learned the value of a spell-checker yet.  And for those of you intent on writing stories with retarded plots or no plot whatsoever.  Flames will be welcomed, because it's raining today and I'm cold.

             Wun day it wuz a beautiful day Kel went outside for a walk it was a beautiful day.

             I can't believe you managed to spell was right, Kel said impertinently to the Omnipotent Author it wuz a beautiful day.  The Omnipotent Author would have killed Kel then but it wuz a beautiful day and Kel was the main character it wuz a beautiful day.

             On her walk Kel past manee things like flowers and trees and bushes it wuz a beautiful day.  And then Kel walked past this guy his name was Cloen and she past this other guy his name was Neel and then she past this guy and his name was Owen and he said jolly it wuz a beautiful day.

"Ah, Cloen said to Kel, Have you realized that the Omnipotent Author has suddenly started spelling more things correctly it wuz a beautiful day.

             Bah, Kel retorded, "Omnipotent Author can't spell nething how could she spell nething right" it wuz a beautiful day.

             Well, Cloen replyd, My name is spelled wrong and I have some lines so this must be a fic where you and I get together, My Lady Kel Whom I Adore So Very Much it wuz a beautiful day.

             "Okay then!" Kel exclaimed with a lot of happiness it wuz a beautiful day, "Then lets get married Cloen since ur name is spelled wrong" it wuz a beautiful day.  They were aboot to kiss to seel their engajement but it wuz a beautiful day they were attacked by big scary monsters it wuz a beautiful day.

             "Oh, no! Big scary monsters! Cloen screeched lyke a little gyrl, Help me because I can't help myself" it wuz a beautiful day.  Kel pulled out her big sword and beginned to hack at the big scary monsters but they had already eetan Cloen's leg and part of his other leg and his arm and part of his other arm it wuz a beautiful day.  The big scary monsters ran away and Cloen wuz very badly hurt in fact he was mortally wounded and he dyed very dramatically in Kel's arms it wuz a beautiful day.

             "Omnipotent Author you are so cruel now I am all alone by myself, Kel sobbed it wuz a beautiful day.  Then there wuz a rustling in the bushes and who should come out to comfurt Kel in her grief but Neel he was so strong and handsum and manly and not bloody and mutilated in fact he was quite healthy it wuz a beautiful day.

             "Oh Neel! Kel cryd, flinging herself into his arms and sobbing, Cloen is dead and I wuz going to marry him but now I have to marry you becuz I never had tru feelings for Cloen it wuz always u onlee u 4eva u" it wuz a beautiful day.

             Okay, Neel said happyly, obviusly not notising the ominus shadow lurking behind him before a giant axe came down on his head splitting him completely in haf and then Kel wuz alone again she wuz sad it wuz a beautiful day.

             So she wuz sitting in this big really big so big it was the size of Uranus puddle of red blud so red that it wuz actually scarlet and not really red at all and there wuz all theze hacked and mutilated body parts surrounding Kel it was very bludy yes bludy all over it wuz like there had been a massaker of peepul it wuz a beautiful day.

             But then the moon went up in the sky and Kel went home and cryd because she wuz all alone and by herself and she wuz very sorri for herself it wuz all rather pathetik really it wuz a beautiful day and that nite Kel herd a knock at her door and she opened it and there was Dom standing there he luuked confuzed it wuz a beautiful day.

             "Kel kan u help me wit mai math homewurk? Dom asked he still managed too luuk very handsum it wuz a beautiful day.

             Shur I kan Dom," Kel replyd patting her bed, "U kan syt heer and I will help u" it wuz a beautiful day.  Dom sat down on Kels bed still luuking very confuzedly handsum and he showed her the paper and asked what is 2 + 2 Kel this homewurk is so hard I'll never get it" it wuz a beautiful day.  And they looked into each uthers i's and instantly fell in love with each uther and before nebody new whut wuz happening they were kissing very pashonutly it wuz a beautiful day.  And they spent all nite huging and kissing eech uther and the next morning the sun came up and Kel and Dom desyded to get married it wuz a beautiful day.

             But then just as they stuud at the altar aboot to sai their vows the bilding colapsed arownd them and Dom wuz killed smashed under a jigantic post it wuz a beautiful day.  Kel cralled out of the rubbuge and she wuz ok but she cryed again becuz she wuz still all alone and this storee wuzn't doing much to help in her current state of pathetik lonelyniss it wuz a beautiful day.

             And then Owen walked in and he put his arms around her to comfurt her and he said its ok dun worree aboot it im heer and Kel smiled weekly it wuz a beautiful day.  But then thowzands of pirana leeped out of the pond just as Owen said golly its a Jolly day and no mistake and then the pirana ate Owen and maybe it wuzn't so Jolly after all it wuz a beautiful day.

             And then Kel said im all alone and by myself and so then she rolled over and fell off a cliff onto all the flames that wyll be sent to this storee and got all burned up intu a tinee pyl of ashes it wuz a beautiful day okay the end bye bye.

**Author's Note:**  Well, ok, so the point of that was to get flames… oohh, I wonder how many I will get!  Flames will be used to enlarge plot holes, and any reviewers will be thanked with a free Hello Kitty™ pencil sharpener to do with as you wish.


End file.
